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dreadfullybatty:

ephebiphobia said: What name do you want to be known as?

I’m still sort of going through my options, but I’m scared that when I make a choice I’m happy with most people will just refer to me as Kimberly still. Or think that I’m ridiculous for changing my name because I’m intergendered. 

Nothing wrong with changing your name because you’re acknowledging a part of yourself differently than before.

Lots of cultures do or have done the same for big life changes like puberty, passing trials, etc. a lot of people still do it for marriage.

When I changed my name I just kept telling people I preferred to go by Kit. It caught on eventually. Just keep telling them your preference and it should sort itself out eventually.

If they think you’re weird they just don’t understand, and if you can accept each other anyway, that’s fine. Not everybody can completely understand each other.

tl;dr

You are who you are. Let yourself be proud of you. Those you love will figure it out with you.

Doing my Best »

invisiblequeer:

I know every parent tries to do a better job than their parents did and we end up failing in some way but I am doing my best.

One thing I have always been firm about is that there is NOTHING I can’t tell my kids. No “when you are older.” No concept needs to be shooed away to protect their little…

He waited until the train was in motion to make his move—a true sign of someone who knows how to make the environment work to their advantage. Then he leaned forward. “Hi.” “How you doing?” “What are you reading?” “What’s your name?” “I really like your hair.” “That’s a really nice skirt.” “You must work out.”

It was painful to watch. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and he clearly wasn’t going to take the hint. Her rebukes got firmer. “I’d like to read my book.” And he pulled out the social pressure. “Hey, I’m just asking you a question. You don’t have to be so rude.” She started to look around for outs. Her head swivelled from one exit to another.

The thing was, I had already heard this story, many many times. I knew how it would play out. I knew all the tropes. I probably could have quoted the lines before they said them. I wanted a new narrative. Time to mix it up.

So I moved seats until I was sitting behind him. I leaned forward with my head on the back of his seat.

"Hi," I said with a little smile.

He looked at me like I was a little crazy—which isn’t exactly untrue—and turned back to her.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"I’m fine," he said flatly without ever looking back.

"I really like your hair," I said. “It looks soft."

That’s about when it got…..weird.

He sort of half turned and glared back me, and I could tell I was pissing him off. His eyes told me to back the hell away, and his lips were pressed together tightly enough to drain the color from them completely.

But no good story ever ends with the conflict just defusing. He started to turn back to her.

"Wait, don’t be like that," I said. “Lemmie just ask you one question…"

"What!" he said in that you-have-clearly-gone-too-far voice that is part of the freshmen year finals at the school of machismo.

And I’m not exactly a hundred percent sure why I didn’t call it a day at that point, but…..maybe I just love turning the screw to see what happens. I gave him the bedroomy-est eyes I could muster. “What’s your name?”

Right now I’m sitting here typing out this story, and I’m still not entirely sure why I’m not nursing a fat lip or a black eye. Because that obviously made him so mad that I still am not sure why it didn’t come to blows. There are cliches about eyes flaring and rage behind someones eyes and shit like that that are so overdone. But it really does look like that. When someone gets violent, their eyes just kind of “pop” with intention—pupils dilate, eyelids widen. And his did. Even sitting down he was clearly bigger than me and I was pretty sure he was kind of muscular too, so at that moment I was figuring I was probably going to need an ice pack and sympathy sex from my girlfriend by day’s end.

"DUDE," he shouted. “I’M NOT GAY."

That’s when I dropped the bedroom eyes and switched to a normal voice. “Oh well I could see not being interested didn’t matter to you when you were hitting on her, so I just thought that’s how you rolled.”

Writing About Writing (And Occasionally Some Writing): Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative (via veruca-assault)

instant reblog

(via koi-ms)

Holy shit.
I cant believe I almost scrolled past this.

(via wonderboygirlsadventures)

this post is gold

(via crimsdunonchalance)